Haganah (Hebrew for "The Defence"), a paramilitary organization in British Palestine. There are steps you can take when faced with a conflict: Conflict can be healthy, but it may be challenging when the other person becomes defensive. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. For example, if you were asked to do something and did not do it, you could respond by saying, Youre right, I should have done that. What. Compromise is often the best course of action when settling a conflict is more important than getting what you want. Since you cant always avoid conflict, it may be beneficial to consider these tips and tricks for communicating effectively, especially with someone defensive. Adjective. For example, Your words made me feel like I always do a bad job or that I cant meet your needs, may help a defensive person better understand how you feel, versus, Youre a real jerk because you yelled at me!. In regards to defensive behavior, some people are just more prone to it. , , : () ( , Dictionary, Encyclopedia and Thesaurus - The Free Dictionary, the webmaster's page for free fun content, Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service, Defensive Area of Operational Responsibility. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Of or relating to the effort to prevent an opponent from gaining points in a game or athletic contest. Civil defense, the organizing of civilians to deal with emergencies or enemy attacks. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. The two most important steps of an "ideal conflict" are protest and repair. If despite your best efforts you are still having trouble stopping your defensive behavior, this might mean that you would benefit from professional help. Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defensive. People who are more prone to defensiveness may perceive an attack in certain situations in which people with resilient and calm temperaments would perceive none. This not only makes you seem more affable and humble, but it removes the defenses of the other person who feels like they are being attacked for their own problems. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. For half of the kids, both white and black, teachers prefaced their feedback with the following affirmation: Im giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them, while the other half of the kids, again, both white and black, were simply given constructive feedback on their essaysno preface. 'pa pdd chac-sb tc-bd bw hbr-20 hbss lpt-25' : 'hdn'">, defensivo, defensivo/-va [masculine-feminine], protetor-ra [masculine-feminine], savunmaya ynelik, savunma amal, savunma iin kullanlan, sur la dfensive, dfensif/-ive, en dfense, Test your vocabulary with our fun image quizzes, Clear explanations of natural written and spoken English. WebDefense (military), forces primarily intended for warfare. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. 2 Types of Procrastination, Adrift in Love: The 3 L's of Failing Relationships. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. If you are trying to control the other person, this is likely to lead to a defensive reaction. Perhaps its around a certain person or in a certain situation. EI is the ability to understand, manage, and use your emotions in positive ways to help communicate with others, relieve stress, and diffuse conflict. Why? intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression, a position of readiness to oppose actual or expected attack, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Post more words for defensive to Facebook, Share more words for defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. Its possible that you dont recognize that you are in fact hurt, angry, sad, ashamed, or feeling belittled when you react defensively. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. Hear a word and type it out. Therefore, if you can anticipate when it is more likely to happen, you can plan how to show compassion to yourself as well as how you would like to react. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. A study from the Journal of Experimental Psychology delved into this issue. Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Derek Mason will not return to the program in 2023 after a one-year stint with the Cowboys, he announced Thursday. wary. Say more about that. And then, use their airtime to take a few slow breaths and consider how youd like to respond. defensive said Jem, trembling a little, and seizing his drinking-can as a, Relying too much on the offensive weapons of their acute angles instead of the, The Museum of the Faculty of Medicine of Paris possesses one of these. cautious. Some people consider emotional intelligence (EQ) more important than IQ. Then, you can reapproach the subject once both sides are calm and ready to face it with a more open mind. (2020). The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. The only problem? You end up feeling worse because of your defensive behavior. Try to remain uncompetitive when approaching someone on the defense. If a person is feeling this way, responding with further criticism is likely to end only in stonewalling or an argument. If your partner is giving you criticism that is making you feel defensive, can you express why? Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? Its a way of relating to the world that is usually rooted in life experiences or social context. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. She heard the blustering, defensive note in his voice. There are a number of strategies and coping techniques that you can employ to help you feel less defensive, which will result in you behaving in a less defensive way. All content on this website, including dictionary, thesaurus, literature, geography, and other reference data is for informational purposes only. This could be particularly helpful if you are experiencing defensiveness in your relationship. Adjective. 4. 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? Below are some ideas to get you started on a path toward being less defensive. How do you react when you feel threatened? Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. wary. A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself. Getting defensive with friends, your boss, your partner, and yourself often backfires. 1 of 2. Using the word opinion. 1. Not good by any measure, but not so bad that they were truly the bottom of the barrel. Conflicting, positive or strongly held? Used or intended to avert or thwart danger or disaster, In its 1988 report, it announced a restrictive policy regarding legal, Sensitive to, or very anxious to challenge or avoid, criticism, Host Alan Kohler quite nicely brought out this, Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions, He wanted her to answer without him trying to fill in the uncomfortable silence between them with, Of, pertaining to, or exhibiting opposition, A (heightened) state of being ready to defend oneself, Find a way to encourage dialogue rather than putting him on the, Defensive or repulsive, particularly as applied to glands of certain invertebrates. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. self-protective. Click below to listen now. PTSD Among Ukrainian Civilians in the Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves With a Parasite Become More Daring, Study Shows. Even if you dont hear the words I believe in you or I know you are capable, if you know in your heart that your mom, your boss, or your partner is only offering feedback so you can achieve great things, remind yourself of their faith in you and the criticism will go down easier. Read our. will always be on the, France was thoroughly outplayed and was consistently on the, Experts said that Sinema's move puts the attention in the Senate squarely back on the maverick senator while putting Democrats on the, Moscow is in the embarrassing position of being on the, Post the Definition of defensive to Facebook, Share the Definition of defensive on Twitter, Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. If you know that to defend is to protect, you have an idea what defensive means. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. I statements are key to reducing defensiveness. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. How Do Gifted Adolescents See Themselves? Relationships give us opportunities to grow in ways that make us more loving, accepting, and whole. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". Subscribe Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. When you feel as though you are becoming defensive, how would the best version of yourself handle the situation? The cost to our intimate relationships when we aren't willing to protest (whether out of fear, self-doubt, an impulse to people-please, and so on) is that we literally make it impossible for the issues in the relationship to heal. In the first stage of love, when we're infatuated by the freshness and excitement of new romance, we anticipate the best in our new partner. On the other hand, you may wish to know how to stop making other people react in a defensive way. Remember the enduring connection from that first stage of love, and try to access the feelings that first made you predisposed toward generosity and understanding at the outset of your relationship. One of the most effective methods of communicating with a defensive person is using I statements. They are expected to wreak havoc with the Offensive Line on running plays by physically clogging up the gaps between the Center, Guards, and Tackles to prevent a running back from getting Now that you know about the signs of being defensive, you might also be wondering if there are different types of defensiveness. Reviewed by Devon Frye. Promoting well-being: The contribution of emotional intelligence. Theres a reason why they call it disarming someone with your charm. 3. It's important that you learn to work through defensive behavior in a relationship because if we don't learn how to deal with our grievances head-on, inevitably we deal with them indirectly. https://www.thefreedictionary.com/defensive. This may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or compromise. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. Instead of immediately reacting to your feelings of being hurt or feeling criticized, you could try taking responsibility for whatever part you might be responsible for in the situation. How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. Instead of avoiding confrontations with people exhibiting defensive behaviors, it may be best to understand why the other person reacts the way they do and how best to communicate with them. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Teams using DTs generally have two on the field at a time. And once youve composed yourself, its time for the last step. The relationship begins to smolder with resentments that undermine us in ways they wouldn't if expressed freely in the first place. . This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. You end up making other people feel bad without the intention to do so and this makes you feel even worse. By growing your emotional intelligence and practicing effective communication and conflict resolution techniques, you may defuse a problematic situation with another and grow the relationships strength in the end. So in times of defensivenesswhen your natural self-protection instincts set insee if you can tap into our naturally coexistent desire to connect. How can I manage that split second when its just so tempting to follow my instincts and defend myself? Understanding yourself can help you regulate your own emotions as well as clarify misunderstandings. Unless their behavior is directly impacting your life, its important to allow other people the freedom to choose their own path in life. Defense mechanisms associated with borderline personality disorder. Defensiveness refers to both a feeling and a behavior. And when we humans are faced with criticism, we also ready the drawbridge, project a ball of spines, or prepare for the tackle. Better: I am not comfortable with this. I have a hard time listening when you raise your voice. I get frustrated when you remind me over and over. wary. Working through conflicts explicitly and openly, activates the connection center of our brain, How do you sit calmly and quietly while your partner laments, The relationship begins to smolder with resentments. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft She is the author of the highly acclaimed book Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, which has been translated into four languages, and she regularly teaches relationship courses based on the Love Cycles method at wellness spa Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico. Some of us avoid. b. Tell the other person that they should not feel the way that they do. Why people become defensive and how to address it. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. Fourteen words that helped define the year. The best thing that you can do is to make a list of the situations that are more likely to cause you to become defensive. Opposite offensive Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. Research 3. How many can you get right? c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. The feeling is typically elicited when you feel as though someone is being critical of you, and results in shame, sadness, and anger. Zanarini M, et al. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than WebDistrustful of others. Webdefensive 1 of 2 adjective as in protective intended to resist or prevent attack or aggression a defensive alliance among the small nations against the aggressors Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance protective self-protective preventive deterrent secure safe Antonyms & Near Antonyms offensive aggressive combative belligerent warlike militant Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Making educational experiences better for everyone. What do you call a defensive person? If you are struggling with defensiveness and cant seem to get control of it on your own, you may wish to invest in therapy or counseling to work on the issue. WebDefense (military), forces primarily intended for warfare. Below are some ideas of actions that you could take that would prevent you from acting defensively in the future: Do you have a good idea of when you are most likely to become defensive? Her next book, Love Skills, will be available in February 2020. But the participants who had been primed to think intelligence was malleable coped by being curious about the strategies of those who performed better. protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight What triggers your fight or flight defenses? Accessed 18 Jan. 2023. Saying, "I'm upset you didn't call when you said you would" is not defensive but open and honest. Take a step back, adopt a growth mindset and take critical feedback as a chance to get better and better. Being able to offer empathy and respect to those around you will also go a long way to avoiding the trap of reciprocal defensiveness. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. distrustful. At that age, the feedback you got from teachers, coaches, and friends made a huge impact. Middle English defensif, borrowed from Anglo-French, borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvus, from Latin dfensus, past participle of dfendere "to ward off, defend" + -vus -ive, Middle English defensif "something acting as protection," borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvum, noun derivative from neuter of dfensvus defensive entry 1, 14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1. So when you least feel like reaching out to connect, take a risk and try it; the results will pay off (much more than isolating yourself). Hear a word and type it out. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. But if you find that either you or your partner is always on guard, waiting on the front lines to pounce into a defensive mode of communicating, it can be deeply harmful to the relationship. Experiment with viewing the situation from different vantage points. Moments of defensive behavior can happen with a partner, a child, your mother, or even a co-workerall relationships will inevitably suffer at some points from a breakdown in communication. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. But in the long term, it undermines us and our relationships. Of or relating to defense. So today, lets look at five ways to regulate your mood and stop getting defensive. See criticism as a sign of others belief in your abilities. Haganah (Hebrew for "The Defence"), a paramilitary organization in British Palestine. We are all wired to protect ourselves, and this can lead to defensive behavior. Opposite offensive That is a strong argument that defensive stocks are objectively better investments than other stocks. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Make excuses about whatever you are being criticized about. Acknowledging that you play some role in the problem will help to defuse the situation and allow you to work together with the other person to solve the issue. a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. 3. Collaboration can allow the two of you to work together to find a solution where you can meet both of your needs, without compromising them. Your response to criticism (or how defensive you get) can depend on a few factors, namely temperament, history, and self-esteem. But if the feedback is meant to help you or is neutral and objectivelike scoring in the 37th percentilerather than channeling your energy into soothing yourself, youll fare better if you channel your energy into improving yourself. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Defensiveness is a learned behavior, meaning that it can also be unlearned. Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Your instinct tells you that your conversation has turned to where the person appears threatened for a reason, whether readily apparent or not. . When we lash out, we dig ourselves deeper. If not, its time to get clear on how you want to behave. Over time, your goodwill and empathy toward others has been eroded. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981. Accuse the other person of doing the same thing. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. We may ache for them to "return" and reconnect, yet our behavior is the last thing that would invite them back. Fabio A, et al. How to use a word that (literally) drives some pe Editor Emily Brewster clarifies the difference. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. How to communicate your feelings, emotions, and needs. You and everyone around you will benefit as a result of taking this action. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. A slightly awkward pause buys you time and, as a bonus, throws them off their game. We view their actions, intentions, and language through the lens of our positive vision. Delivered to your inbox! Delivered to your inbox! When a person is acting defensive, they're trying to protect or justify themselves. When each letter can be seen but not heard. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. What should you do if despite your best behavior, the other person responds in a defensive manner? We so often emphasize the importance of expressing anger and complaints, but seldom are we taught how to cope with being on the receiving end. (2013). Keep this in mind for both yourself and your partner; it's always important to remember that we all have a variety of influencing factors when it comes to our behavior. Learning to hear our partners complaints with curiosity and openness not only deepens the connection between us but helps us be more open in all of our relationships. The word in the example sentence does not match the entry word. b. So, for example, if youre feeling defensive after a not-so-stellar work review, forget about frantically rehashing all your past workplace triumphs. Instead, show empathy and concern for the situation that the other person is experiencing. Once you have started to notice when you become defensive, its important to start validating your feelings when you are criticized. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways, designed for defense from a surface position against air attack, designed for defense against armored vehicles, attempting to or designed to prevent an opponent from winning or scoring, intended or adapted to afford protection of some kind, for the purpose of attack rather than defense, having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends, designed to inflict death or personal injury rather than material destruction, designed for or consisting of a brief attack followed by a quick escape, characterized by plundering or pillaging or marauding. They may often hear themselves described as "too sensitive" or "thin-skinned." Opposite. What do you call a defensive person? They are expected to wreak havoc with the Offensive Line on running plays by physically clogging up the gaps between the Center, Guards, and Tackles to prevent a running back from getting These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word 'defensive.' It gives your partner the benefit of the doubt, allowing, in the best of circumstances, for them to repair the situation with a simple, "I'm sorry. People who are insecure or guilty tend to act defensive. In the moment, getting defensive can feel like the only way to cope with threat. When you feel criticized, do you engage in any of the following behaviors? I apologize.. Some people have nervous systems that respond more frequently and intensely to sensory stimulation. Of course, it's difficult to give and receive healthy criticism if we're clinging to a defensive attitude. In fact, you could even attend couples counseling to work on your communication as a couple. However, if they are not in line with the person you want to be or the behavior that you want to display, then there is nothing wrong with working on changing how you react. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than It pushes people away, makes us look immature, and sends a message that were unable to regulate our emotions. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. 4. Conflict management: Difficult conversations with difficult people. Accessed 18 Jan. 2023. In the study, university students were primed by reading one of two specific passages written in the style of a news article: one said that intelligence was inherited and fixed from a young age, while the other said that intelligence could be increased substantially over the life span. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. If your parents shamed you often and punished you harshly, it's likely that, as an adult, you quickly feel self-protective whenever you see someone upset and angry about something. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Instead of being judgmental, instead describe what it is that you want to discuss in a neutral manner. However, this method may be limiting because you may be focused on ways to bend that could compromise some of your needs while trying to meet the needs of the other. offensive (ATTACKING) More examples. Getting defensive in response to disruptions like these in your relationship is natural. Which of the 12 Relationship Patterns Best Describes Yours? Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. . Defense industry, industry which manufactures and sells weapons and military technology. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Consider only responding in a competitive or forceful way when there is an emergency, such as when someone is in danger or when there are serious safety concerns. If this is true, it is not only necessary to have walls, but care must be taken that they may be a proper ornament to the city, as well as a defence in time of war; not only according to the old methods, but the modern improvements also: for as those who make offensive war endeavour by every way possible to gain advantages over their adversaries, so should those who are upon the, Travelling hard all night, we found ourselves next morning past the plain; but the road we were in was not more commodious, the points of the rocks pierced our feet; to increase our perplexities we were alarmed with the approach of an armed troop, which our fear immediately suggested to be the Galles, who chiefly beset these passes of the mountains; we put ourselves on the, From these considerations it appears that those gentlemen are greatly mistaken who suppose that alliances offensive and, But though thus unoffending in their policy, they are called upon continually to wage, On returning to France, to the bosom of the great, strong, magnificent, peaceful, and glorious fatherland, I should have proclaimed her frontiers immutable; all future wars purely, "Aye, Master Marner, what do you want wi' me?" Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". b. Of course, its not realistic to expect to always respond to every type of criticism in this way. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. To save this word, you'll need to log in. Imagine yourself staying calm and collected while you discuss a problem, instead of reacting defensively. Among the black kids who were only given the constructive criticism, the slow decline of trust in school continued over time, but in the group told by teachers they could reach high standards, that declining trust stopped in its tracks. Learn a new word every day. Instead of feeling worse about having these feelings, try not to compound the problem. You can do this is one of two ways. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. How to communicate with a defensive person, frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01182/full?ltclid=, researchgate.net/publication/317305481_Conflict_Management_Styles_and_Organizational_CommitmentThe_Conceptual_Framework_Development, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC3835442/, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5961625/, sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/12/201201103610.htm, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC3203733/, Common Defense Mechanisms and Why They Work, How People Act Out When Feeling Threatened: Defensive Body Language. Also, defensive players in football try to prevent the other side from scoring, just like defensive military strategies try to protect something. They are expected to wreak havoc with the Offensive Line on running plays by physically clogging up the gaps between the Center, Guards, and Tackles to prevent a running back from getting It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. self-protective. Fourteen words that helped define the year. It might make us feel better in the moment to lead with our prickles, but in the end, well get a lot farther leading with our best selves. In fact, there are a number of different styles of being defensive. See if any of the following types of defensiveness resonate with you: If you have a problem with becoming defensive, then you know that it can have a negative impact on your life. According to a study by Dr. Carol Dweck, grande dame of the mindset movement, cultivating a growth mindset can help us make the leap. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. You can also find related words, phrases, and synonyms in the topics: Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use from Cambridge.Learn the words you need to communicate with confidence.
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